Category: my pregnancy story

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My Birth Story

Let me start by saying I had been going back and forth about induction. My doctor was encouraging that we help things move along. I got the impression he did not want me going past my due date but was given no specific reason. I had always imagined a spontaneous labor and wanted to allow my body to call the shots for when it was ready. After learning that IVF babies can be at increased risk of stillbirth after 40+ weeks and that it was not unusual for OBs to induce IVF babies at around 38-39 weeks, I was more comfortable with the idea of trying the cervical gel induction. The gel can be a more gentle way of jump starting labor compared to other induction methods.

We had tried 3 gel treatments – Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. My cervix had made no progress during the week and we started talking about moving onto Cytotec. My doctor ended up asking me to come in for another fetal stress test before we started the Cytotec. Last I posted was that I needed to stay overnight at the hospital due to some inconclusive heartrate drops that appeared during the fetal stress test Wednesday night. As I was being admitted for the overnight stay, I decided that I wanted to get this baby out one way or another. There was no way I was going to go back home after any signs of heartrate concerns. Inducing would now be the only way.

The overnight monitoring showed no more concerns and first thing Thursday morning we started the Cytotec. After about 5 hours, my cervix was still being stubborn and still so very closed. The monitoring also showed signs of heart decels during the mild contractions I had. Because of this, my doctor did not want to try another round of Cytotec. Once it is in you can’t take it out. He suggested that we either have a C-section or try pitocin. The pitocin was a safer option because if there were any more signs of fetal distress he could simply turn it off. My doctor did let me know that depending on how the baby responded to the pitocin, I needed to be aware that a C-section may be a possibility.

We started the pitocin at 1:15pm Thursday afternoon. The baby was responding well so they steadily increased the dosage and the contractions came rolling in stronger and stronger. By 4:43pm my water broke and this triggered some heart decels. Baby did not like the water breaking. Overall, he didn’t like me laying on my back. We took a break from the pitocin and tried a few different positions. Once everything stabilized we started pitocin again. By 5pm I was at 1cm and 30% effaced.

At 8pm I was only 2cm and 90% effaced. By then the contractions were incredibly painful. I went into this hoping to avoid an epidural, but also willing to consider one if I needed to. Experiencing such pain and yet being so far from 10cm made every contraction that much harder. I couldn’t stop thinking that I still had such a long way to go and, being so tired, it made the pain that much harder to tolerate. If I’d been further along I think I could’ve tried to pushed through. In the end, I decided to do the epidural. I had been so nervous about the whole needle in the spine thing. Once I had it in, I was glad I did. It completely took away the pain and I was relieved.

This was when things started to get more complicated. Once I had the epidural, I was more limited in which positions I could be in and this once again upset the baby. He really didn’t like me laying down. There were regular heart decels with the contractions which was very concerning. At 9pm my cervix was all of 3cm dilated and 95% effaced.

It just wasn’t far enough along and the baby was in distress with the contractions. My doctor said he didn’t know what was causing the heart decels. It could be something like the umbilical cord around his neck. After some difficult conversation with my doctor, Mom, and husband, I knew that a C-section was really my only option. It could’ve been a different story if I’d made it to maybe 8-9cm, but I wasn’t anywhere near.

I cried, alot. I had to mourn the loss of a vaginal delivery. I kept saying “He was hard to get in and now he wants to be hard to get out.” But I was devastated. I think that because he couldn’t be conceived naturally, I really wanted to be able to deliver vaginally. I wanted to know my body could do something the right way. However, it wasn’t my body that was struggling with the labor. It was the baby and his heart. I had to do what was best for him. The goal is a safe and healthy baby however it needs to happen.

By 10:45pm I was being prepped and moved to the OR. Thank goodness I had already gotten the epidural by then because it made the transition that much easier.

As I was being rolled through the hall and to the OR, I made the decision to put away the tears and move forward. This was how my baby was going to be delivered. I forced myself to stop crying, even to smile a little, and to remain calm. I trusted my doctor. I knew I was in good hands. It worked. I maintained a steady and calm heartrate through the whole painless procedure.

My son was born Thursday, May 24th at 11:52pm. 6lbs, 14oz. 19". His APGAR score was 9 🙂

When I heard those first cries, I was so amazingly happy and cried. He was the only thing that mattered.

I have to say how much I appreciated both my husband and my Mom being there for me through the whole thing. I couldn’t have done it without them. They were wonderful support and helped give me the strength I needed.

It’s been over a week. Recovery is going well and I have a beautiful baby boy that I just cannot get enough of. He’s absolutely amazing and is everything I’ve ever wanted.

You know the question: If you could be anything you wanted what would it be? It’s usually meant to help you think of a possible career path. For me the answer was always that I wanted to be a Mom. And now I am. This baby is a dream come true.

I knew all along that you can never really get mentally locked into a particular birth plan. I really went into it trying to be as open and as flexible as I could. Yet, when the time came, it was still difficult to let go of my vision of a vaginal delivery. But, I wouldn’t change my story. It got me my healthy baby boy. He’s everything I could’ve imagined and more 💙👣😍

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😬

I went in last night for a prenatal stress test instead of the cytotec as originally planned.

There were a couple red flags that were inconclusive (moments of low heartrate) so they’ve kept me for monitoring.

Waiting for the doctor to come in this morning and determine next steps depending on what he sees from overnight. As he explained last night, what the baby does determines what our options are.

Really hoping there’s nothing to worry about 😬🤞

All I know is I want him out safe and sound and as soon as possible.

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Inducing IVF babies

I had no idea but I recently found out that for many OBs it is standard to induce IVF babies around 38-39 weeks due to increased risk of still birth at 40+ weeks.

I’ve been having cervical gel applications the past couple days trying to ease things along. Round 3 is today. I’ve been trying to decide if I’d be interested in trying a more aggressive induction gel when I came across this information about IVF inductions.

I can’t believe I’m only now learning this, but it makes me feel more confident in our decisions to move forward with induction.

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Round 2

Having another round of gel applied today. Definitely getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions but nothing painful. Just a little more tightness and pressure. Hoping my cervix will be cooperative!!🤞🙂

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Little nervous

Today I go in to have the cervical gel applied. I wonder how my body will respond to it and if it will turn into labor within these next 24hrs. To think I could be at home with a new baby by this weekend is crazy. I’m so excited to meet him but don’t exactly look forward to the labor part.

In the end, the goal is for both of us to come through safe and healthy. I just hope by starting this more mild form of induction doesn’t lead to more medical interventions like pictocin or a C-section.

Whatever happens, this is a rollercoaster I can’t get off of and I’m wishing for the best 🤞

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Today at my doctor appointment he said my cervix is still firm and closed. He’s suggested I go into labor and delivery on Monday for cervical ripening with a gel to encourage it along. I’ll be 39 weeks on Sunday and I am interested in helping my body get ready for labor. Still makes me a little nervous. I don’t want to go past my due date, but I’m also not at a point where I’m looking to medically induce either. We’ll see how my cervix responds to the gel. Maybe it’ll start making progress on it’s own over the weekend. Either way, this baby is going to be here sooner than later!

These came out beautifully 💙

These came out beautifully 💙

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Everything is going so well!

I’m exited because this is the week I’ve been waiting for!!! The end of my to-do list is fast approaching. I already finished prepping all the Crock-Pot meals this past week and now I have 30+ frozen meals to last us for a while after our little one arrives. I have to say, it was surprisingly exhausting putting them all together even though I picked out fairly simple recipes.

Tomorrow the vehicle is being cleaned and detailed so we can then install the car seat. Also, the house is being cleaned. Today I’m pre-cleaning my house because I only want them to focus on some dusting, floors, and bathrooms. (Oh please please clean those damn bathrooms!)

Then on Wednesday the dogs get groomed. We also finished painting the living room so Wednesday will be the day when we put everything back together. We bought a new TV stand that will be arriving. My husband will be happy to set up his new TV we found on sale. I’m looking forward to putting up the pack-n-play and cradle swing! We’re going to be moving the bassinet into our bedroom too and just generally set-up all the sleeping arrangements.

Did I say how excited I am?!!?! The final steps of everything is falling into place 🤗🤗🤗

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Don’t go on Facebook

It’s just awful. It’s not the first time I’ve come across a heart-wrenching story, but as I get further along these horror stories scare me more. I came across one about a baby stillborn at 41 weeks. The comments are even worse. So many out there who know the pain of such a loss. Full term babies, too!

😭😭😭

I continue to hope and pray for my precious baby boy to arrive safely. I long to hold him safe and sound in my arms. We’ve come so far already. I’ve never wanted anything more than this child inside me to be safe and healthy. All I can do is have faith we will all be okay 💙

Just maybe don’t go on Facebook 🚫🙅‍♀️

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It’s a beautiful first day of May

My due date is May 27th. The month I’ve been waiting for! Everything has been leading up to this month and I’m so excited it’s here.

The weather today is gorgeous. Perfectly warm and sunny 🌞

Unfortunately, I am so tired. I slept well but for some reason I’m really sleepy. I managed to get my three errands done today but found myself dragging through it. Normally being out with good music on the radio and sunshine on my face gives me such energy. Yet here I am, finally home and about to lay down for a nap. I should be happily singing to music and getting to the laundry and dishes I’ve been avoiding, but nope. This lovely sunshine will pass me by as I close my tired eyes.

I told my husband how sleepy I felt today. He said:

“Because there is a human inside you plotting it’s escape.”

😁😁 I suppose that’s true. So, nap time it is 😴